Time For A Reality Check
Karl Lynn
It's that time of year when our schedules are turned inside out and upside down. Out with the recreation ball and summer, in with school and homework. I'm not sure if it's the same for other parents, but this time of year is always a reality check for us. New bedtimes, new wake times, new routines and less together time is suddenly what we experience each year as school begins. It usually takes a few weeks for us to realize that new priorities are a must if we are going to keep up with our children's changing needs.
Our kids need our time, our ears, our focused attention and lots of genuine understanding. All these things have one thing in common; they take deliberate concentrated effort that we don't consistently give to our children daily. It takes energy to really hear what they have to say, even when they don't say much. It's our responsibility to read their moods and expressions, and then carefully calculate how to act on our hunches. Jesus left us powerful examples of how we are to treat children. "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14) Have you ever stopped to consider what Jesus meant when he said "...and do not hinder them."?
Jesus calls us to ensure that our children have every opportunity to be with him. That means that our homes must be focused, carefully planned training grounds for our children. Just as Deuteronomy 6:5-9 teaches, God entrusts us as parents to impress the teachings of Jesus on the hearts of our children all year long, not just when its convenient for us. We find obeying this scripture can be quite a challenge as the wild and free summers turn into heavily scheduled school days each year. Adding the challenges brought about by school such as studying, instrument practice and sports practices must all be squeezed into a few short hours once we get home from work. This is all in addition to the normal evening schedule, which consists of dinner, chores, baths, showers and family time! What we are realizing is that as our children get older, they need more of us, not less of us as we once thought! Over the years we have found that these practical parenting tips have helped us to get our priorities in check.
- Starting the day off right by preparing ourselves spiritually. Spending daily time with God, praying specifically for our children and asking God to give us wisdom as we are training them to follow Him.
- Having a consistent discipleship time where each child's needs are discussed and plans for development are decided upon and set in motion.
- Spending time on the ride home from work preparing to give to our children (I know the temptation for most of us is to use this time planning for our own comfort.)
- Giving them our undivided attention when they need us, this means looking at them when answering questions. (Think about it, how often do we carry on conversations with a child while multi-tasking, never really making extended eye contact? The subtle message to them is that other things are more important than they are.)
- Have a few minutes of one on one talk time and a prayer time every evening with each child. (The challenge is to find a time when they are most likely to talk, not just a time that is most convenient for us and the goal is to connect with each child.)
- Taking the time to recognize our children's accomplishments each day, encouraging them with specific feedback pertaining to their day.
- Giving a generous portion of hugs and kisses so there is no doubt in their minds that we love them for who they are today.
- Since we both work outside the home, we are determined that most weekday evenings are reserved for focused time with our children so we can meet the specific needs of that day. (This means that the majority of phone calls, visitors and bible studies take place after their bedtime most nights.)
Children are like fine jewels; they are gifts that need to be carefully and precisely cared for. We are determined to keep our children on the top of our priority list. Our challenge to all parents as their days become crammed full of activities surrounding school, is to re-prioritize your time so that evenings are reserved for the most precious gift we've been given, our children.